I would be certain to attend that friend's funeral.

[u/heartneed]

[u/Dreaming_Kitsune]

I have 4 people in my life that I'd do this for. I won't like it, but I'd do it.

[u/Hollowgradient → u/Dreaming_Kitsune]

I only got 2

[u/Umbertron05 → u/Hollowgradient]

You guys would go through that?

[u/Iminawhiteboxyt → u/Umbertron05]

Yeah. I'll save someone's life if all it amounts to is having to take a bit longer in the shower.

[u/Umbertron05 → u/Iminawhiteboxyt]

I would blow those cars up and walk through the fire caused by the explosion before I walk through those webs.

[u/Sexy-Jesse → u/[deleted]]

Oh hell no. This isn't like that all the time right? Only in certain places?

[u/KriegsMedica → u/Sexy-Jesse]

As an Australian it is like that like 1/2 of the time

[u/DarkPDA → u/KriegsMedica]

for australian people its just CASUAL TUESDAY, right?

[u/linkxrust → u/KriegsMedica]

Sorry dude, That sucks

[u/durrbadurr → u/KriegsMedica]

Id bring a flamethrower

[u/casperno → u/[deleted]]

Nope, actually I think we should just nuke the entire continent.

[u/Hunnaswaggins → u/casperno]

All In favor🙋‍♂️

[u/Relief-Old → u/Hunnaswaggins]

Aye

[u/grn3y3z → u/casperno]

After scrolling through that page, I heartily concur.

[u/HisWordOnly → u/casperno]

Yes....from orbit, because like Ripely sagely stated: "It's the only way to be sure."

[u/Hunnaswaggins → u/HisWordOnly]

Lmaoo definitely, one project THOR rod should do fine🤷‍♂️

[u/twhys → u/Iminawhiteboxyt]

You’d probably get bit a few times at least, so I’d wager it costs more than a shower

[u/TheoryMatters → u/twhys]

Any spider that is going to make a web like this is an orb weaver.

They are harmless. I doubt you'd get bit.

Or you could just grab a stick and toss it in the middle pulling the whole web to the ground.

[u/mootmutemoat → u/TheoryMatters]

Looks like utah, and if so those things are harmless.

[u/Sarrow5 → u/TheoryMatters]

Orb weavers are imo one of the most impressive arachnids. They may not be 'smart' but they're intelligent. And beautiful creatures. I don't like spiders but I allow one or 2 in the house near windows to keep small insects at bay (when I find them out and about it's gonna go one of two ways depending on the situation but either I need to wait for a new spider to come in or they're gently relocated back to where they were, I prefer the second but it doesn't happen as often unfortunately. The spooders only pay rent for that space not the whole house!) I'd love to get an orb weaver but I always get stuck with wolfs / typical cellar spiders lol.

[u/hailwyatt → u/twhys]

Honestly, maybe not. Most spiders are unlikely to bite unless they have no choice, and they're not smart enough to gold a grudge or want revenge. Very few are looking to vaste venom on something they can't eat or kill.

In this case, their house just got torn down and they may be trapped in web - they're in survival/run a way mode, not fight mode.

Source: I dunno just a dude on reddit but I just like spiders and have walked through a lot of webs (on accident- id never wreck a web on purpose if I can avoid it) and many times found the spiders on me after, but never gotten bit as a result.

[u/Fzero45 → u/hailwyatt]

Definitely something a spider would say.

[u/hailwyatt → u/Fzero45]

Hahaha... what? No? I'm definitely not thousands of spiders forming a hive-mind to pilot a human-skin-suit... hahaha

[u/angryrotations → u/hailwyatt]

What ever you say not a spider.

[u/Heyyaka → u/hailwyatt]

What are you thoughts about those delicious flys sticking on webs?

[u/hailwyatt → u/Heyyaka]

F-f-flies, you s-say? Where uh... where now? ^{looks nervously in 8 directions}

[u/potsreven → u/hailwyatt]

One time we walked through a cave with 100s of spiders around and on us, almost no bites, except for maybe one small bite that was a bit irritating at the most, no pain..

[u/Scorpionsharinga → u/twhys]

Bro def not, those are orb weavers they're mad docile.

You have to really pin them down to get em to bite. They're too chill for their own good sometimes

[u/iPlayViolas → u/Iminawhiteboxyt]

Feeling guilt for the rest of my life or feeling gross and webby until a shower… I think I know what I’ll choose.

[u/beeglowbot → u/Iminawhiteboxyt]

exactly how I feel. I'd do it for a stranger if their life was in danger. now if they were deadly spiders then I'd find another way.

[u/slobonmacabre → u/Umbertron05]

Shoot, get me a blender! Fear factor that bitch.

[u/mama-cheetah → u/Dreaming_Kitsune]

Yes only for my kids, husband shouldn’t have gotten himself into this situation but I will call for help, maybe his parents will come help lol 😂

[u/Wahoodza → u/Dreaming_Kitsune]

I have Much more =) Sisters, their children, my parents, 2 fiends.

A lot of people!

And... You know. It is not so big price to save peoples life. I think i will do it to save almost any.

[u/fuckfacebitchpussy → u/Wahoodza]

wow looky here mr.i-have-friends no need to brag

[u/lenorajoy → u/fuckfacebitchpussy]

Hell, I’d do this for a random stranger on the street. High school me would disagree, but today me is better.

[u/NeonMoth7076 → u/lenorajoy]

This makes me happy. Sometimes the world can be so dark but it's nice to see good ppl just vibing

[u/heart_RN115 → u/lenorajoy]

We like today you :)

[u/_c0sm1c_ → u/fuckfacebitchpussy]

He has fiends

[u/Soft_Tackle_6140 → u/Dreaming_Kitsune]

mirrors dont count.

[u/AChaoticStorm]

I would do it but that bastard better pay for my therapy after.

[u/theADDMIN → u/AChaoticStorm]

As long as the spider doesn't crawl up your ass, ear or nose, you should be fine.

[u/MrWright62 → u/theADDMIN]

Yep! I don't believe these kind of spiders are venomous to humans

EDIT: meaning they won't kill you if bitten

[u/eatasssnotgrass → u/MrWright62]

All spiders are venomous, but these look like orb weaver spiders. Not dangerous

Edit: almost

[u/queenswamprat → u/eatasssnotgrass]

So the big bitches from Eight Legged Freaks??

[u/eatasssnotgrass → u/queenswamprat]

Such a dumb movie 😂 shaped my childhood though

[u/demi-femi → u/queenswamprat]

Let's talk about the probe...

[u/exempt1993 → u/eatasssnotgrass]

Almost* all

[u/qquestionmark → u/eatasssnotgrass]

I wonder if any spiders are poisonous to humans.

[u/ghostplx → u/eatasssnotgrass]

there are spiders that dont have venom like Uloboridae

[u/LEMO2000 → u/eatasssnotgrass]

Actually that’s not true. For example the wolf spider isn’t venomous. Almost all of them are tho.

[u/monica702f → u/theADDMIN]

Some of those look like brown recluse's and black widows.

[u/oddestsoul → u/monica702f]

Nah, brown recluses would not hang out in any web like that unless they were the prey.

Black widows would not be that large and again would never just be out and about in some large open web. They keep to damp and dark places.

Running through this web would at worst, net you maybe a bite or two and a second skin of webbing. Wouldn’t be fun, would probably feel awful, but your life wouldn’t be remotely threatened

[u/theADDMIN → u/oddestsoul]

This guy spiders.

[u/GoombyGoomby → u/monica702f]

These look primarily like orb weaving spiders - their bite is generally no worse than a bee sting.

Spiders in general are relatively docile creatures that prefer to be left alone and only bite when they feel like their life is threatened.

[u/monica702f → u/GoombyGoomby]

Idk, I think I'll just get another friend.

[u/confusedfork → u/AChaoticStorm]

Plot twist, this is the therapy

[u/captain_wigglez → u/AChaoticStorm]

I already have nightmares like this, I can't imagine the psychological impact of having it occur in real life!!

[u/Mechbeast → u/AChaoticStorm]

Made me lol

[u/Divasa]

While it does look kinda bad, I'd do it for 50 bucks, let alone something important

[u/Iminawhiteboxyt → u/Divasa]

I'd do it for a beer lmao

[u/siccoblue → u/Iminawhiteboxyt]

I'd do it just to get these little bastards off my car

[u/Noobmaster366]

Most reliable wepon for the job. The longstick.

[u/DayeOmas → u/Noobmaster366]

Sigh. (Unzips)

[u/No_Permit8766 → u/DayeOmas]

That was good!

[u/QWERTY_CRINGE → u/No_Permit8766]

Uhm... You tried his stick?

[u/No_Permit8766 → u/QWERTY_CRINGE]

I sure did and it cleaned out all the cobwebs!

[u/Bitter4LifeLord → u/No_Permit8766]

This thread lol

[u/DJ_Cummins → u/No_Permit8766]

It made some new ones though

[u/pfghr → u/No_Permit8766]

Well my friend, maybe you should get out more often....

[u/Technological_Elite → u/QWERTY_CRINGE]

What stick?

[u/houfman → u/DayeOmas]

We said longstick not matchstick

[u/TyrantHydra → u/DayeOmas]

I too choose this man's dick

[u/Ordinary_WeirdGuy → u/DayeOmas]

r/cursedcomments

[u/mengla2022 → u/Noobmaster366]

Flamethrower

[u/TheKingNothing690 → u/mengla2022]

HANZ HANZ! GET THE...

[u/HavenIess → u/Noobmaster366]

HAZMAT suit and run straight through

[u/thejungledick]

This is what sticks are for.

[u/LoliOnMyLap → u/thejungledick]

EXCALIBUR!

[u/BONDxUNLEASHED → u/LoliOnMyLap]

Fool!

[u/Cheap-Blackberry-745 → u/BONDxUNLEASHED]

EXCALIBUR

EXCALIBUR

I'M FROM THE UK

I'M LOOKING FOR HEAVEN

I'M GOING TO CALIFORNIA

[u/OpticRocky → u/Cheap-Blackberry-745]

BYEKKE

[u/_HIST → u/LoliOnMyLap]

Specifically the 155mm M982 Excalibur guided artillery shell

[u/Defie22 → u/LoliOnMyLap]

excaliBURN

[u/NinjaDad_ → u/thejungledick]

Yeah for real. Look for a stick. Yall really never had to use a stick to remove a spider web from your house? Like that but hard mode. Also good news is where there's 1 stick there's more

[u/noobductive → u/NinjaDad_]

You can even throw the stick right through it and break most of the webs.

[u/Skrubious → u/thejungledick]

they run up the stick faster than you can drop it, up your arm and shoulders. you can only scream as they fill your mouth

[u/CharderVR → u/Skrubious]

STOPPPPPP BRUHHHH MY SKIN ITCHES

[u/majnuker → u/CharderVR]

BRUHH -itches-

[u/w00timan → u/thejungledick]

You're too kind, a lighter and can of deodorant would be my tactic

[u/Lherkinz_Gherkinz]

If Sam can do it, so can I!

This is for my ol’ gaffer!!

[u/Saddam_whosane → u/Lherkinz_Gherkinz]

get your hands off him you filth!

[u/Haunting_Abalone_398]

Just give me a lighter and an axe spray can, and I'll rescue his ass, no problem

[u/MountainCourage1304 → u/Haunting_Abalone_398]

If your can can spray axes then you wouldnt even need the lighter

[u/stormyw23 → u/Haunting_Abalone_398]

That can backfire just wrap dry cloth to a stick and light it

[u/Gnorfindel → u/Haunting_Abalone_398]

HANS GET ZE FLAMMENWERFER!

[u/Opie_the_great]

I can hear “In the arms of an angel” playing currently

[u/Affentitten]

Rescue my friend.

They're just some kind of orb weaver. Not going to hurt you. It's way worse when the webs are at face level, but still doable. Like your average walk in the dark in nighttime Australia.

[u/Panzerv2003 → u/Affentitten]

Forgot about Australia... People there are just built different

[u/DeepFriedDave69 → u/Panzerv2003]

No most of us hate spiders just as much as you do

[u/Cobalt9896 → u/DeepFriedDave69]

I LOVE spiders, I keep em as pets, they are some of my favorite creatures in the world.
I, dont know if I could do that. I mean they are harmless but like

[u/Panzerv2003 → u/Cobalt9896]

Well yeah, spiders are cool but not when they're crawling all over me

[u/bfruth628 → u/Panzerv2003]

That pretty much goes for anything aside from baby mammals lol

​

edit: Not baby humans tho

[u/Arcadius274 → u/Panzerv2003]

I remember a post from an aussie once talking about that. He said something like "Americans scared of spiders and fish meanwhile living with bears and rattlesnakes"

[u/lifeworthlivin → u/Arcadius274]

That’s a good point! I grew up in FL where we have 7 different species of venomous snakes, alligators AND crocodiles, bears, panthers, and lots of sharks! Not to mention all the stinging bugs and spiders.

[u/Panzerv2003 → u/Arcadius274]

I guess it's just a matter of getting used to it, aside from that, people are scared of fish? There are some dangerous ones but it's not like they can chase you on land.

[u/Not-A-Lux-Main → u/Panzerv2003]

Some people are scared of the stone fish. For good reason mind you but they are less common than the internet would have you believe.

But in Aus Irukandji jellies are way scarier than an anything on land, bar like funnel webs. But then fuckers are special

[u/TheoryMatters → u/Not-A-Lux-Main]

Also looking it up it seems like stone fish seem to have the same type of lethality as black widows.

You probably need to avoid treatment to die.

[u/manaha81 → u/Panzerv2003]

I’m not from Australia and I don’t find that frightening at all. When I was a kid I used to go night fishing under this bridge all the time then one day I brought a flashlight and realized it looked just like this at night. Was catching fish so I just kept fishing and never got bit once

[u/Puzzled_Ad336 → u/Affentitten]

I accidentally walked through one of those in the woods in the dark. Some types of orb weavers get quite large and they were crawling all over my head and the web anchor threads felt massive. No bites and they were trying to get off of me and back to their colony as fast as they could.

[u/RaniANCH → u/Puzzled_Ad336]

I'd probably black out or throw up or both

[u/BarracudaNew1659 → u/Affentitten]

Only sane redditor

[u/AshenSacrifice → u/Affentitten]

It’s cute you think the danger is the problem lol

[u/Viking_American → u/Affentitten]

Plot twist, 90% of them are orbweavers and 10% are black widows.

[u/Longjumping-Age9023 → u/Affentitten]

Orb weavers lay intricate webs. These really look like steatoda of some sort. Although I’m no expert.

[u/Cptn_Shiner → u/Longjumping-Age9023]

I agree, the web style rules out orb weavers.

I'd love to know what they are. Is this a social species of spider, or just a bunch of spiders that happen to live in the same little space?

[u/buckao]

Let them die.

[u/AdmiralHatch215 → u/buckao]

Same. But only because they dont exist

[u/EmmaDaOne21 → u/buckao]

Let em die. Let them shrivel up and die

[u/wolfwonder49 → u/EmmaDaOne21]

But the trees!!

[u/Disgusted_User → u/buckao]

Can't you just like climb OVER one of the cars?

[u/Fantastic_Valuable47]

In this moment.. I would learn how to fly

[u/johnthegreatandsad]

Start writing a Eulogy.

[u/ToastyWolfBrug → u/[deleted]]

Then you and your mom would be dead

[u/CantComeUpWUsername → u/ToastyWolfBrug]

Did they stutter?

[u/NoCommonSenseHere → u/[deleted]]

My mom is dead. And if someone said I could see her again if I walked through this, i would still have a dead mom.

[u/Temporary_Air_3024]

Tell the tragic tale of my friends passing, and the heroic effort I made to get to them that ultimately just wasn't in time. My friend will appreciate me using this story to try and get laid while they are watching down from the afterlife and no one ever has to know I didn't go near those fucking spiders

[u/Mental_Attitude_696]

Like another person Said their orb weavers and they won’t really bite anyways I’d just swat their webs anyways they can remake them

[u/voxPopuli96]

They are just spiders! Too easy!

[u/LegitimateBelt4036 → u/voxPopuli96]

Exactly like I’d run though it then shake the spiders off and probably pop the ole shirt off, I’ve done worse

[u/Existential_Being]

Classify them as enemies so I don't feel so bad noping out of there

[u/Nameless49]

I would wear a beekeeper suit or hazmat or something else that fully covers my whole body before passing through

[u/Heartbreakker1738]

Yea and stop acting like a bih

[u/Little-Tadpole-7818]

I like spiders.

[u/GlossyBuckthorn → u/Little-Tadpole-7818]

Spider appreciator 🤝

[u/yankmyutters2]

Not sure if I would do that to save my life

[u/Educational-Goal2703]

Good thing I always carry a knife!

[u/giby1464]

Light it on fire.

[u/Danielmav]

I would do this for a stranger and I’m terrified of spiders. It’s a human life, lol. I worry that I always take posts like this too seriously tho lol.

[u/Klutzy-Speed-5503]

You didn’t specify no tools or weapons just walk through, so I have flame thrower therefore I have success

[u/Rapamune1]

Go get my flame thrower.

[u/terrorSABBATH]

RIP Dave. I'll miss ya buddy.

[u/RockyJayyy]

Hahaha. I don't have any friends....

[u/notserpssor]

RIP bud

[u/Felipe_Duraes]

If he dies, he dies

[u/LOLIWOLF312Reditt]

Do nothing

[u/NikoAU]

…No

[u/jellyschoomarm]

If it was one of my kids I'd run through and grab them. In my experience even black widows won't bite you just for walking through their web although they may walk up and down your arm a bit.

[u/Saxophone304]

I’ll do it just give me a flamethrower I’ll still walk through while also burning a path

[u/IdrisandJasonsToy]

Are they venomous? If not cover up & run thru

[u/mathyoudylan]

Screaming windmill hands

[u/xcrixtx]

They look like widows, but those are usually at ground level and territorial so not so dense. I would use a big stick to knock down the webs and would be dancing my ass through the path i make so anything on the ground gets squashed and can't walk onto me.

[u/xhailsay10x]

Walk through it.

[u/cyberrapist]

Axe and lighter first

[u/VaultRazor]

Screw that I'll just get a new friend at the friend store...

[u/KyoFox312]

Run fast, cry hard

[u/itstimeforspace]

I love spiders, so I’d just be polite and say, “excuse me”

[u/cabezon8]

Triple tyveck suit with gloves and a gas mask and a shit load of tape covering the seams.

[u/chaunceythegardener]

I can find other friends.

[u/BlakeKollar]

It matters, do I have a flamethrower and poisonous gas.

[u/PacxDragon]

I’ll need a heavy blanket, bucket of water, a bbq lighter and a can of cooking spray.

[u/trowser_snakes]

Finally not having any friends is paying off.

[u/shyguyshow]

Dude owes me his allegiance and has to become my slave for the rest of his life

[u/AccomplishedBunch721]

I would shoot the friend myself

[u/Cheap-Chip-4419]

I'll let them die

[u/X_misanthrope_X]

i dont give a damn if those spiders are completely harmless and you can display undeniable scientific evidence to support that fact that is a wall of fucking death

[u/snuggleyporcupine]

Send flowers to my friends funeral 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/Dry-Tooth2325]

i guess i would have 1 less friend

[u/AkaRadekcz]

Sorry bro 🍌

[u/Interesting-Dog-1224]

I'd walk through it. Then I'd become Spider-man or Spider-covered-man.

Still saving my friends life though

[u/Truebotted]

guess my friend is dead 😔

[u/D00hdahday]

Which friend?

[u/UmaSherbert]

If it was for one of my homies? Of course. Only a moment of hesitation. For a stranger? I might sit there weighing the pros and cons too long for it to matter.

[u/ilovedogs-2]

turns on flamethrower (Noises of happiness, muffled by a gas mask)

[u/Much-Word9929]

I would buy a flamethrower burn the little devils and then do nothing to help them because I need to go to therapy to deal with the trauma of seeing the spiders.

[u/kale72401]

He’s already dead … or will be after the fuel air bomb strike hits that I just called in

[u/sed2017]

Keep my mouth shut as I plow through…

[u/whitedwarf788]

Use my lighter

[u/Dakaro420]

U can always find new friends

[u/Trustyduck]

Do I get a flamethrower first?

[u/Sailboat08]

No reason for us both to die

[u/aod42091]

can I be on fire while doing it?

[u/Mother-Forever9019]

Flamethrower

[u/ED_NOHEAD]

God I’d rather jump through the window

[u/thesurfer1996]

Never in my life have I been more grateful to be anti social

[u/Jagermind]

Send the next in line his congratulatory basket of fruits to celebrate his promotion to best friend.

[u/sk8fasterdude]

What friend?

[u/newguy25]

He ded

[u/CFLegacy]

Goodbye friend we had a good run

[u/Goddo-Fo-20]

Hand me a flame thrower and some CCR 👌

[u/orangeyoshi108]

Aw hell naw

[u/Skwareblox]

Good bye old friend.

[u/ILLpLacedOpinion]

Go hang out on the beach with my new friends

[u/Spiderbanane18]

go home, relax and make new friends. they ain't worth this bs

[u/needanamegenarator]

Use a lighter. They are not my cars.

[u/bigchikka1978]

Find a new friend duh

[u/richter1977]

Gonna miss that dude.

[u/Bowla1916]

Start planning a funeral

[u/abap65]

No sorry just no